For An A$$hole, I'm Really Quite Considerate

I'd like to say I've been giving it some thought, but that would be lying. Actually, while sitting here staring into space, a thought popped into my head. Whenever I've got a complaint, I generally reach for The Way It Is to update the World's Number 1 Sporadic Blog. On closer inspection, I think I have come to the root of this. 

It all began about five years back when I started to get a bit more experimental with my small talk with strangers. It went from a quick "hello" to more of a "hi, how's it going?" kind of affair. From there I got out of control and would sometimes mix things up by responding to "how are you today?" with "I can't complain thanks". I remember clearly when my reality came unstuck, it was probably the third time I'd used my new "I can't complain thanks" line when the lovely gentleman at the service station I frequented said "well if we did complain no one would listen anyway". I thought to myself "shit! Is that really true? No one listens? Well what the hell am I going to do now?" So to cut to the chase, I guess five years down the track, The Way It Is has finally filled that void. 

Now, don't get me wrong, the man's comment didn't stop me from complaining, but I felt a bit guilty if I even had the slightest hint of a feeling that the person was listening. They probably didn't want to be. They probably didn't realise that it was now kosher to ignore complainers. Now you see I can complain at will, and you my dear readers (ahem, reader - you know who you are) can simply click on that little cross and be done away with the rant whenever you want, plus you have the added bonus of not having to here me splutter and lisp it out at you, you can imagine me reading this in whatever pleasant voice you desire. Nothing kinky please. 

Before I bid you adieu for the evening, here's a little gripe of mine - see another complaint - but I actually find this amusing. I find it hilarious when people start their sentences with "I don't know about you..." or "I don't know about in your family..." or "I've never been to Australia so I don't know about there but..." Of course you bloody well don't know! 1) You're not psychic 2) You're not in my family 3) You've already said you've never been to Australia so how the hell would you know what goes on Down There? And trust me, you don't want to know! What I love the most about my rage at this, is that I catch myself saying it ALL the time! Hypocrisy! A gift from Pandora's Box no doubt! 

I don't know about you, but I'm tired. Off for a sleep now. 

I don't have an Oprah quote off the top of my head, but think of something nice yourself and she has probably said it at one point or another. 

Rock Squared! 

xx

Toenail

For those of you (no-one) who have expressed concern about my right big toenail (see A Long Walk to Anchorage post on August 10), it is all black now, and very ugly. Thanks for asking. 

I've Been Abducted...

Haven't really! BUT it was a good lead into my upcoming point about this blog. Should you ever notice that this blog has started to be updated regularly, you can rest assured something bad has happened to me and someone has taken it over. If you ever suspect this has happened, please contact the relevant authorities (vague - I know, because I'm not sure who they are) and get them to start hunting. 

So, news from this side of the planet? Not a lot. My chest infection has everyone crying H1N1 - God bless the media. The good thing about the hysteria that the media has created is that now you can get 10x the amount of sympathy for your pathetic ailments, or double your money back. I like that. Not one person has laughed at me or called me a wimp since I came down with this weak little chest infection. Instead I hear whisperings of, "it could have been swine flu," "she's lucky it wasn't H1N1," "next time she might not be so lucky." All of these murmurs, of course, accompanied with a motherly shake of the head and a Bold and the Beautiful-esque shake of the head while looking in my direction. This cold was worth contracting! 

In other news, is it just me or do other people lose track of their friendship/enemy statuses with people they knew a long time ago but don't anymore? Let me explain this in a clearer way. A few years ago I was visiting home (from Taiwan) when I saw an old friend of mine from college, so I gave him a big wave and a smile, only to have him turn on his heel and walk away. It was at that exact moment that I remembered, we were never friends! Nor were we enemies, but the simple fact was that we just didn't know each other. So, it was likely one of those situations where he turned away thinking I was probably waving to someone behind him.

A more recent example happened just yesterday on Facebook (hot off the press, you heard it here first). I saw an old friend on a mutual friend's wall, so I busted them a message just seeing how things were going. From the curt response I received, the memories all came flooding back that something (which has obviously slipped my memory) happened, and we drifted with the hate obviously not coming from my side (can't imagine what I could have done hehhe). Anyway, my first thought was "what happened to time healing all wounds?" With my second thought being about the nature of my crimes. Anyway, it's funny. We live in some unforgiving times! I mean, that happened about 5 years ago, I was still a kid. I'm sure whatever I did or said wouldn't happen this days (whoops - that's assuming I have grown up, which we all know is not true). Having said that, I hold onto grudges like I hold onto my wallet when I walk through the streets of Rio. (I have only walked through the streets of Rio a couple of times, two years ago - however I'm stoked by the simile). But some people deserve to have grudges held against them. Like when their whole personality is a mistake, rather than the occasionally poorly judged quip being a mistake. 

Whole other ball game. Anyway, I think from now on I'm going to lie in wait for contact from the outside world, rather than forcing myself onto people that managed to evade me for lengthy amounts of time. 

Now, my only reader/fan, who mind you coaxed me into writing this - you know who you are. Says she had saved up her own Oprah quote. So I am going to leave this post quoteless, then I'm going to find out what her quote is and post it very soon at the end of another new message. Don't call the authorities if you see a post in quick succession with this one - that will be me! 

Until next time, stay strong and artificial and if you see someone coughing, be sure to make some loud, rude comments about H1N1 and how they should be at home rather than infecting the masses. 

xx