The Taiwan Weekly

Motorcyle Hidden By Layers of Bird Faeces.

A Shida resident awoke early on Thursday morning to discover a large, white mound in place of her motorcycle. Upon closer inspection, the worried resident realised that the white mound was in fact her motorcycle covered in faecal matter from some kind of avian species. In a country that has in the past held grave fears about bird flu, it would seem that an even bigger threat today is bird poo (although rhyming with bird flu, it is a completely different threat).

Ms. Wang parked her motorcycle in the alley at around 9:30pm on Wednesday night. Unbeknownst to her, she was making the fateful error of parking under one of the few trees in the neighbourhood. Ms. Wang has indicated that if she could turn back time she never would have made this decision (and she'd take back those words that hurt you, and you'd say... - or is that from the Cher song?).

"I just took it for granted that there was a parking space free, in such a busy part of the city I seized the opportunity and parked there. Now I know why the space was vacant," a teary Ms. Wang explained while digging through the pile with a packet of wet wipes.

Thankfully for Ms. Wang litigation is alive and well in Taiwan and she will be pursuing the matter with local authorities. She is currently seeking legal advice from Lee, Chen and the Money Grabbing Associates about how to go about suing the local council. In addition, she will sue the national government for outlawing bird hunting in the city, and she will also seek damages from the birds themselves. She is also pursuing avenues to sue the local restaurant owners who covered their mouths and giggled uncontrollably throughout her ordeal, while pointing her hidden motorcycle out to passersby. For now, all of us at the Taiwan Weekly wish Ms. Wang all the best in her endeavours to uncover the rest of her motorcycle.

By: Lipsty