Remember That Time You Didn't Write A Blog for 27 Days and Other Observations

I'm remembering that time! Seems like a distant memory now that I'm tap dancing on the keyboard preparing to write something Earth shattering to give my anonymous readers something to while away the seconds (or maybe even minutes if I can be bothered). I love observant people. You know who you are. Particularly when they catch you doing something damning. Even better, is an unobservant person who snaps out of their daily haze to catch you at your worse. 

Like the teacher who'd miss all of my friends' typos on their school assignments but managed to zero in on my "pubic relations" report. Certainly a lot more fun than "public" relations. Although, others would argue that the best past time of all would be "public pubic relations" - ooohhh the thrill of getting caught. 

Like my ESL student who always wrote "bog" instead of "dog" but managed to catch me out leaving an "o" out of balloon. The little dude couldn't string a sentence together but rose to triumph over his teacher. It was a simple writing error, by the way, it had nothing to do with my propensity to spell simple words. Needless to say he didn't receive any stickers for a week. 

Like my taxi driver the other night who waited for me to nestle into my sticky, stinky seat before announcing in Chinese, "you're a foreigner." I'm sure had he realised the magnitude of the awkward silence that was to follow, he never would have pointed out the obvious to me. I'm not sure if was the pasty white skin, the blue eyes or the curly "mother of pearl" hair that gave it away. Who has "mother of pearl" coloured hair by the way? I think it's more a tooth colour than hair,  it's certainly not the colour of my hair. A lot of fun to declare, too. Actually, this guy isn't even a good example of what I'm talking about - but never mind! 

Anyway, I guess I'm going to stop playing hard to get. I've been asked by my one fan (you know who you are) to keep the blogs coming. So I will. Just for you. If you're willing to read the rubbish that I drivel on a regular basis, then I should at least be forthright with the drivel. 

An interesting exchange that I had at my favourite local Middle Eastern restaurant tonight: 

Waitress: Would you like the Egyptian cigars?

Me: No, I'm Australian. 

Sometimes 2 + 2 really does equal 5. 

Stay tuned for Friday's newsflash of the week. Back by popular demand - designed to keep my fan at bay ;) 

Remember to thank Oprah before each meal, remember if it's a cheap curry you'll be in the bathroom for days afterwards and that it's easier to kill two stones with one mockingbird...or whatever. 

Lipsty!